It's another vigil today, this time around daddy we came to church without your constant reminder for us to leave for church, this time without you waiting outside the house as u take turn to call our names out one by one to enter the car. Yes we drove to church without mummy asking us if we have prepared to receive from the Holy Spirit and what our expectations are at the vigil. We are in church and I couldn't help but look out for you mummy as u dance Ur heart out in praise to God! Yet even in his presence it feels so empty without you here. Josh have looked back to see if I could catch a glimpse of you pressing your phone, but rather I have your phone here in my pocket, or probably in the car sleeping. This is too much. And hard to believe. The constant thought of trying to understand all this amazes me. Have asked questions no one have been able to answer. While we wait for his timing when he will make all things known. It's hard to say. But continue to rest in peace while we fight to be strong and accept what we don't understand.
Lying down on the same spot we talked before u walked out the door on Sunday morning to never return. Fought to hold back tears from my eyes. By now we would have been planning to have our late night suppar. Oh my brother is this actually happening. U are truly no more here. No nah this wasn't the plan at all o. What happened to all the beautiful plans the boys took turn to tell daddy and mummy the night they took the boys out? U mean u just lied to us to believe u will be here to make them a reality? Haba brother this is not fair.
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